Posted by Matt Markins in 
As I mentioned on my August 20th post, I have been challenged by the book Every Man’s Marriage. The Best book I’ve read in the past two years and likely the best book I have ever read on marriage. As I was finishing it the other day, I came across a powerful part of the book where Fred Stoeker talks about Deuteronomy 6, which is a foundational passage for what we do at RHP. I found this quite interesting. Check it out:
It’s a sad thing to look back and say “I wish I had risked more during my career” but it’s positively tragic to look back and say, “I wish I had risked more in trusting God’s word.”…I was also thankful I’d already risked in trusting God’s word in my time management. I was essentially an independent sales rep working off straight commission, so if I didn’t work, we didn’t eat. At the time of my marriage, I was working from 6 A.M. to 6 P.M. every day plus 7 A.M. to noon on Saturdays. Having been in business for only one year, I really had put in long hours.
After a while, Brenda suggested I was working too hard and should stop working on Saturday mornings. She also said that I should trust God and follow His Word. Eventually, I risked working less and gave my sales to the Lord. When Jasen, our firstborn, came into this world, I cut my hours to 6:30 A.M. to 5 P.M. to make time for him. When Laura came, I cut my hours to 7 A.M. to 4:30 P.M. which still translated into a forty-five hour workweek.
So, what’s my point? I wanted to follow the command of Deuteronomy 6:6-7, which says I was responsible for impressing God’s commandments upon my children’s hearts and that I was to talk to them when I was at home, walking along the road, and any other time I was with them.
How was I going to do this if I was never around? I had to risk trusting God and allowing Him to bring in enough sales during my shortened workday.
Was this really a risk? I certainly felt it was! Each time I cut back, I sweated profusely, suspecting my business would suffer significant reversals or even collapse. I fought these changes like a dog. (You can check Brenda’s ankles!) Yet I counted on this promise from God:
The pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first the kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. (Matthew 6:32-33)
When we choose God’s way, He’s intently interested in vindicating our decision before the world. It brings Him glory when we tell others about that decision. It’s nothing for Him to give us favor with the boss or to open doors to sales or advancement we hadn’t noticed before.
Doing the right thing can be so hard…especially when it comes at the expense of something we love as much as our careers. But what about our families? What about the legacy we leave behind for our children and our grandchildren? Where is the balance between having a world class career (making a significant impact in our jobs and ministries) and raising spiritual champions for Christ. Dads, you must draw the line and make the decision now and not let circumstances guide your time management decision making…if you do, you can always justify “oh, it’s just one more long business trip, or one more week of overtime, or yet another relocation across country for my family” while in the mean time, creating an environment of crushing spirits, rather than a place of oneness with your wife and family. Oneness is key!
My friends can tell you, I love my career. I “get” to go to work each week, and I have the honor to travel periodically to represent Randall House. Not only that, I am given the opportunity to make a difference each day. It would be very easy for me to work 60 hours a week and think nothing of it, because I enjoy my work so much. With all of that said, I know I won’t get to the end of my career wishing I would have spent more time away on business, or more long nights at the office. During the day, I am bustin’ it to get as much work accomplished in order to maximize my impact for Randall House. I have to choose to limit my overtime and my travel (when possible). Not only that, but when I come home from work, I’ve got to make it my goal to carry that same passion in the door with me to love my family by fulfilling my responsibility as a D6 Dad. If I don’t, I risk not trusting God’s word’s word both in my profession and at home.
I highly recommend Fred Stoeker’s inspiring story in Every Man’s Marriage (Waterbrook). He has raised the bar for men. This is a must read, guys.
