Posted by Matt Markins in 
Because of the transforming power of Jesus Christ, I have a solid and growing marriage. My wife is crazy about me and I adore her. I have the kind of marriage now that for years I longed for. But it wasn’t always that way.
In the early days I remember thinking “what have we done?” or “who is this person?” and I know for certain my wife felt the same. But what I have also learned is that most other couples have had similar experiences. After all, we have all heard the infamous stat, that about 50% of marriages end in divorce.
So, of the 50% of the marriages that ARE surviving, how healthy are they? What are they doing that is working? What is the secret behind their success? Well, I don’t know them all, but I can share one small suggestion: Husbands and wives should consider reading the book Captivating (by the best selling Author John Eldredge and his wife Staci).
For years I wondered how I could reach the heart of my wife, but something was missing. I had read the controversial Wild at Heart for men, so I was familiar with “the wound principle” but not so certain as to how all of this applied to my wife. What Captivating did for me was to show me that I have to fight for my wife. According to John and Staci, every woman wants three things: to be swept up into a romance, to play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure, and to be the beauty of the story. But because of the wounds of a woman’ past, she often represses or exaggerates any or all three of these.
Although I do not agree with all of Eldredge’s theology and every viewpoint he holds to (there have been a substantial amount of thorough book reviews on Eldredge that can provide you with much insight), there are some key principles in this book that have proven to be true and in line with scripture.
This book is a must read for husbands and wives of any age or life stage. I had been married for 9 years when I read it, and the content in this book played a small but critical step in helping my wife and I become closer to one another, and especially to helping her to unlock the beauty that is within her. She truly captivates me, and I am glad she knows it. Hats off to John & Staci, Brian Hampton, and the folks at TNI.
